Not My Clown, Not My Circus
A circus is a system of complex, beautiful chaos. It’s a tightly controlled act of clowns and gymnasts and monkeys. A net of complex interactions, where behaviours and actions are controlled by the ring master. The ring master keeps the monkeys in check. The monkeys willingly obeying, doing as they’re told. Hopefully it’s a flawless performance. But sometimes, sometimes it’s not. Sometimes the chaos becomes messy. Sometimes the clown can only cry. The gymnast trips. The horse rider falls. The monkeys escape. This is the circus in bedlam. A mess of a show. But unless you’re that ringleader, this is not your show. And not your responsibility.
We cannot try to control what is not ours to control.
We cannot hold the burden of other’s problems. Nor can we manage the mess for them. We cannot take the whip and take control.
The #1 bestseller that has helped heal millions of readers, this modern classic holds the key to understanding codependency and unlocking its hold on your life.
Melody Beattie’s compassionate and insightful look into codependency—the concept of losing oneself in the name of helping another— has helped millions of readers understand that they are powerless to change anyone but themselves and that caring for the self is where healing begins.
Is someone else’s problem your problem? If, like so many others, you’ve lost sight of your own life in the drama of tending to a loved one’s self-destructive behavior, you may be codependent–and you may find yourself in this book. With instructive life stories, personal reflections, exercises, and self-tests, Codependent No More helps you to break old patterns, maintain healthy boundaries, and say no to unhealthy relationships. It offers a clear and achievable path to freedom and a lifetime of healing, hope, and happiness.
This ground-breaking book is even more relevant today, as readers confront new, urgent challenges with greater self-awareness, than it was when it first entered the national conversation over 35 years ago.
CoDa was established as part of the 12 Steps as a program of recovery from codependence. Here is the website: https://coda.org
In Co-Dependents Anonymous, members apply the 12 Step principles to their daily lives, so it’s not surprising that the book Co-Dependents Anonymous follows a format similar to that of the “”Big Book”” of Alcoholics Anonymous. The stories and principles it contains are uniquely pertinent to anyone coping with codependency and searching for freedom and peace.
Through hands-on guided journaling, exercises, and self-tests, readers will learn to integrate the time-tested concepts outlined in Codependent No More into their daily lives by
- setting and enforcing healthy limits
- developing a support system through healthy relationships with others and a higher power
- experiencing genuine love and forgiveness
- letting go and detaching from others’ harmful behaviors
Whether fixated on a loved one with depression, an addiction, an eating disorder, or other self-destructive behaviors, or someone who makes unhealthy decisions, this book offers the practical means to plot a comprehensive, personalized path to hope, healing, and the freedom to be your own best self.